Everything happens for a reason.

But it is so much worse when it happens without one.

Maybe

I hate maybe. To me it has always meant, "I have an answer, but I don't want to say it." I always feel the answer was decided upon instantly. Almost always it is the answer you don't want to hear. It is the less harsh way of saying no.

Unless, it give hope. If it gives hope (the giving of false hope being a sin worthy of a special place in Hell.) it will do far greater damage in the long run. Sometimes it is best to say no and allow the other person to move on with their life. Not have them hanging in the limbo of maybe.

Sometimes, though, it is nice to postpone the reality with the hope of maybe. But everyday there is hope, the more destructive the devastation of no will be.

I guess I can try to work with a maybe, but listen, don't forget what I had said to you. Time changes everything, but that doesn't change what was said to you. No matter what happens. It will still be true. Or, I will be wrong.

"Far better it is to have a stout heart always and suffer one's share of evils, than to be ever fearing what may happen." - Herodotus

A Followup to 'Endings'

I was reading Waiter Rant and on page 219 I halfway down I read this:

"Sophie's another reminder that time is unstoppable, that life does not wait. ... Sophie comes back up front to say good-bye. We exchange email addresses. We'll probably never see each other again. That's not because we don't care about each other. It's because our lives will travel on different trajectories. Sophie thinks we'll be buddies for her entire life. That's sweet. One day she'll realize that friends float in and out of your life with astonishing rapidity. This is especially true in the restaurant business. You can work next to people for several years, know all their aspirations and fears; but once you move on, odds are heavy you'll lose touch. I've learned to be glad to have known people when I knew them."

If you watch, you see yourself reflected in other people. Good and bad. And familiar things are said and repeated throughout time. No one is first and no one is last.

I think we are the sum of the people we have met. Everyone we meet we leave something behind. A phrase. A memento. A memory or two. If we really are lucky, the people we meet change us in some way.

Hopefully for the best.

I think we forget to thank our friends the most. I mean, we do. But we don't really. I expect them to be there tomorrow. Then, they aren't. They get caught up in their own stories. So do you.

Tomorrow I'll regret not thanking you yesterday for making me into who I am today. But today I think you'll always be right here forever, ready for me and next week you won't even exist anymore.

Here we are, standing at the end. Do you even realize it? Are we going to stand here as it drifts into the ether? Or are we going to fight it as it drifts into the ether? It's a pointless fight. (Though, the pointless fights have always had more value than the fights for a cause.) Here we are, at the end of the world, isn't everything beautiful?

Endings

As people, I think, we believe that everything is permanent. We believe our souls are everlasting, our cities will never crumble and that the people we love will always be with us.

But that is almost never the case. I mean, I can't speak for the souls of the dead but everything else is heading steadily towards decay and destruction.

Stability is one of the most prized conditions in society even though it can be stagnation. I know there are many instances where stability is nice: romance, job, health, home. But stability turns to routine and routine can quickly turn to stagnation without change. If a relationship becomes dinner, movie, sex, breakfast, talk to you later, then it has to change or end. It cannot stay the same and be healthy.

Sometimes you can't end it, but you can work around it. And change the other parts of your life to keep them fresh and rewarding.

Sometimes you have to let everything you love end and see if it comes back together.

But, hey listen, I'll be waiting for you in Montauk, if you ever decide to return.